In Review: The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks

One of my goals for 2012 was to begin reading non-fiction books. Typically, I gravitate towards fiction because it lets me escape the "real world" and live in fantasy. I get to live vicariously through characters chasing dreams I could only imagine, and living life with no limits. But, there's a ton going on in the world outside my window and I felt like it was time I began paying more attention.

After asking my Facebook friends for recommendations on books that should be on my reading list I settled on the Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot. Several friends recommended my reading it, although only one had read it herself. After hearing her glowing review, I decided to make it my first read of the new year.

The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks is the story of a Black tobacco worker who was diagnosed with an aggressive form of cervical cancer during the 1950's. While undergoing cancer treatment at John Hopkins, Henrietta's doctors removed cells from her cervix without her consent to perform experiments on cell regeneration. Unlike previous experiments, those using Henrietta's cells were successful and resulted in the first strain of "immortal human cells." Despite treatment, Henrietta's cancer continued to spread and eventually consumed her. At the time of her death, Henrietta nor any member of her family was aware of the actions her doctors had taken and that pieces of her would forever live on.

The book is written by a woman named Rebecca Skloot who learned about Henrietta during a lecture in Biology class. During the lecture her professor explained that Henrietta's cells, HeLa as they are often referred, were integral to advances in modern medicine. He told the story of how her cells were taken from her without her knowledge and that she was black. Her professor offered no additional information on Henrietta or her family. Rebecca became overcome with questions and set out to learn more about this mystery woman.

As Rebecca researched Henrietta and her family, she eventually gets in contact with and joins forces with Henrietta's daughter Debra. The two set out to learn what exactly happened to Henrietta, and why the family was never notified that her cells were still alive and being used for research purposes. They travel between Roanoke, VA where Henrietta grew up, and Maryland to speak with family members and learn more about who Henrietta was and her diagnosis.

Throughout the book Rebecca makes historical references to race relations and policing of the medical field while discussing the issues related to Henrietta's situation. Racism, lack of governing within the medical field, and socioeconomic challenges all played in to the reasons why Henrietta's family was left in the dark. While they lived in poverty, struggling to pay their own medical bills, scientists were making millions off of manufacturing and selling Henrietta's cells.

The book takes you on a journey of discovery for the Lacks family. Despite challenges, they learn who Henrietta was, and how important she is to the medicine today. Her cells helped develop several drugs for the treatment of diseases such as herpes, hemophilia, and Parkinson's to name a few.

Overall I enjoyed the book. It was difficult for me to read, not because of how it was written, but because I was saddened by how unethical her doctors had been. Their actions lacked integrity, and ultimately resulted in their lying to Henrietta's family. Some may say it was "in the name of science", but in my book it's still wrong. People have a right to know what is being done to them, and how their information could be used in the future. While Henrietta's story is not exactly the same as those that participated in the Tuskegee Syphilis experiment, there are striking resemblances. In both cases Blacks were misled to believe they were receiving the best treatment available, when in reality they were the subject of tests and experiments without their "informed" consent.

Henrietta's family suffered both emotional and financial difficulty that could have been avoided had the medical community been forthright. Pharmaceutical companies made, and are still making, millions of dollars off of Henrietta's cells while her family barely lives above the poverty line. Where's the justice in that? There isn't any, and often this is the case when it comes to Black people and history. I suppose sometimes people have to go through things, painful things, in order to make tomorrow a better place.

One cool thing is that the author has created the Henrietta Lacks Foundation in honor of Henrietta and her contribution to the medical profession. According to the website, "the foundation strives to provide financial assistance to needy individuals who have made important contributions to scientific research without personally benefiting from those contributions, particularly those used in research without their knowledge or consent. The Foundation gives those who have benefited from those contributions -- including scientists, universities, corporations, and the general public -- a way to show their appreciation to such research subjects and their families." A portion of the proceeds from the book go directly to the foundation, and they also accept donations on their website http://henriettalacksfoundation.org.

I'm passing the book on to a friend, but would definitely recommend your reading it if interested. It's a fairly easy read, although there are a few sections that are somewhat technical. However, if I can follow them I KNOW you can. :)

Lessons Learned in 2012…January Edition

Evening Ladies and Gents! I hope all is well and that 2012 has been eventful thus far. As for me, this year started off with a whirlwind of new experiences – both good and bad. I’ve met some interesting people, am finally settling in to my new role at work, and have become a baking machine. I’ve had a few challenges along the way but I’m happy to say I’m still on track to becoming a better me, which continues to be the goal. That being said, I wanted to share with you a few lessons I’ve learned so far…some new and some confirmed from previous experiences.

1. Perception is not always reality – there’s always more than meets the eye. You have to give yourself and others a chance to see what lies beneath.

We sell ourselves short, myself included, when we stop at the surface level when getting to know new people. I’ve been guilty of judging books by their covers, and have probably missed out on some really good reads over the years due to my doing so. It took someone misjudging me, and ultimately mistreating me to realize just how hurtful this can be.

2. There’s nothing wrong with being open and honest with your thoughts and opinions. However, when show no regard for a person’s feelings you’re just being an ass.

This coming from me may seem surprising to a few of you. I’ve never been known to bite my tongue when giving my opinion on anything. However, I’ve never been one to say or do things intentionally to hurt anyone. That’s not my style and never will be. If I’m honest with myself, I’ve met people like this before. But I’ve never liked them, nor did I invite them into my personal life so the long-term effects of their poison never had an impact. This year was a little different…the poison got in and lingered for a while.

After a few pep talks I bounced back from the situation above. Although I stuck around longer than I probably should have, it was clear that there was nothing good that could come from the situation…at least for me. The experience confirmed at least one thing I already knew... I don’t appreciate, and cannot tolerate, people that say and do hurtful things…repeatedly and intentionally. Removing myself from the situation may not have changed this person’s behavior, but it sent the message that there’s at least one person that won’t accept it. ME!

3. Colorism in the Black Community is sickening. We really need to do better. Regardless of how deeply rooted the issues are, we don’t have to accept them just because they are.

I’m not going to go into detail on this, as it should be self-explanatory. But I am going on record as saying that any man that says, “I didn’t make the rules, they’re just the rules. Pretty brown-skinned you might be, but you’ll always come in second to a light-skinned woman…cute or not” is a fool. Period.

4. Me + Cake Mix = Good times!

I’ve been baking up a storm so far this year. Remixing packaged cake mixes and trolling the net for homemade recipes to reinvent. I’m happy to report I haven’t gained any weight so far, but I can’t say the same for my co-workers. I’m going to try to share a few of my favorites on the blog for you to try when you’re in the mood!

If you come across a recipe you think I’d like, share it in the comments section. I’m always open to trying something new!

That’s about it for now. Just wanted to give you an update on what’s going on with me. How has 2012 been for you so far? Anything worth sharing?

Happy New Year!!!

Today is January 1, 2012, the first day of the New Year! Thank God we made it! 2011 was a year of transition, change, and self-discovery. I've learned so much about who I am, and what I want to become. I'm so excited to start this year off on a positive note, and looking forward to what's to come. I'm challenging myself to move outside of my comfort zone, and to really go after my passions and dreams.

I haven't written a blog post in months, and honestly, I can't tell you why. Initially, I decided to write for entertainment purposes and as a way to pass time. But, as I went through various transitions and trials the blog became somewhat of a release. Writing allowed me to share pieces of me with friends, family, and strangers (lol) from afar. And I miss that...so I've decided to give it another go.

I've deleted all of my previous posts, with the exception of the letter I wrote to my nephew after his passing. I've gotten a ton of feedback from friends telling me how much that post helped them deal with their own losses, and that in itself is reason enough to keep it up. Moving forward I'll be writing about things that are meaningful to me...life, love, food, the usual. No gimmicks, just me.

Hopefully, you'll enjoy what you read. But if not, that's perfectly fine. I've grown to learn that people are fickle, times change, and that being liked isn't always important. My opinions and thoughts are just that, mine. Like it or love it, they're here to stay!

Like I said before, I'm looking forward to what 2012 has in store for me...and for you! I'm starting the year off by enjoying a meal of black eyed peas, greens, and baked chicken. Apparently, this is a meal that symbolizes good luck. I don't normally believe in luck, I believe in God :) ...lol. But I'm willing to give it a try. If nothing else, it'll be nutritious and I've finally found a recipe for black eyed peas I can stomach! Progress. Lol.

Cheers to each of you! Wishing you a blessed 2012!!! Stay tuned!

I Miss You...RIP D'Mario Moreland

Dear Mario,

It feels as though this is long overdue. I've had so many thoughts of you, and there are so many things I've wanted to say to you but have not had the courage. But now is the time. I can't say I'm completely ready to acknowledge or accept the fact that you are gone, but God has his way of pushing us to step out on faith. He has a way of forcing us to face the things that hurt us the most, and that we have no control over.

Today marks the 1 year anniversary of your death. It feels so weird saying it, but it's true, you're gone. It's time that I learn to accept that so that I can find a way to move on. I don't mean move on in the sense of forgetting, as that will never happen. But move on in the sense of letting go of the guilt, questions, fear, and selfishness that has made it so difficult for me to live as I did once before. All the feelings that have not allowed me to celebrate your life, but have caused me to continually mourn.

You're no longer there for me to talk to when I call home home to check-in. Sadly, I wish I had called more often. No more stories of how you're growing into such a responsible man, and how you're finally finding your way in life. Sadly, I wish I would have come home more often to see if for myself. There are lots of things I COULD have done, and probably should have done better. And unfortunately, it' s too late.

June 13th, 2009 is a day I will never forget, while at the same time a day I've subconsciously refused to accept. The day I lost a part of me that I always knew existed, but somehow took for granted. And now it's too late. The day God called you home, the gift he had personally (yes personally) given me 18 years prior. A hole/void has remained in my heart and to an extent in my soul from that day on. It's not always easily detectable, but it makes its presence felt at the oddest times. Like in the middle of the Miami airport...lol. Or listening to a particular song, sitting in the car driving to work, talking to men that have the same skin tone, build, or have any characteristic that triggers a memory of you. The pain is once again felt.

Again, some of that is guilt. There's a part of me that wonder's what could have been had I been more involved? Had I been more visible? But I'll never know. It's too late to tell you how much I love you. Too late to explain that there was a method to my madness. That I continued to move and press forward because I wanted you and your sister's to know it was possible. That there was more to life than what existed in your "backyard". I wanted you to be proud of me, and to know that if I could make it beyond the odds that were set up against us...you could, and that that was my expectation. Be better than me, and I was trying to show you just how to do that. But now I wonder if you ever really understood that? Again, I will never know.

It's too late to tell you how proud I am of your growth, and how you've always made me smile. I'll never know if you knew just how much you meant to me. As I said in your obituary, I've aways seen you as a gift from God. I know everyone says that you were my "favorite", and to an extent that's true. But what they don't realize is why. You were born at a time when I understood what it meant to be an aunt. I was old enough to help, so there were times when I saw you as MINE. Refer to my statement earlier...a personal gift from God. So there was some ownership and responsibility that came into play early in your life, that for whatever reason stuck with me. You were also the only boy in our immediate family. Which meant you had different needs. It meant that you needed structure, and to be exposed to other men doing POSITIVE things. And I tried to bring my male friends and boyfriends around to positively influence you. And again show you, you had options. Some would argue I might be a little silly for using my friends (love you guys, lol), but they all turned out all right...and so did you! God is good.

If I'm going to move on completely, I have to be completely honest. There's been an internal battle going on with me ever since you went away. You see, I wasn't supposed to be home that weekend. Ticket prices were extremely high, and I worked for people who didn't want to let me go. But, I was able to find a last minute ticket and came anyway. My trip was delayed and I ended up sleeping in the Denver airport, so I lost one day of time with the family. But I made it home that Thursday evening, and prepared to see everyone Friday as usual. That Friday you came over with the rest of your family and we carried on as we usually do. Jazzy told me I'd gained weight...lol. Both you and Kiki were happy to see me...and I was happy to see you both. You showed me your new car, as you had purchased your own car with the money you were making at your job. One that you'd held for some time and had been progressing with nicely. You were so proud, and so was I. "My baby was growing up!"

What was different about this visit was that for some reason we decided to take pictures. We're not some Kodak family, (other than Auntie L :) ), so it was a bit unusual. But we obliged and took pictures with one another to capture the visit. You didn't stay long, why I'm not entirely sure now, but I expected to see you again before I left that Sunday. I can't remember if I told you I loved you before you left. And I don't remember if I gave you another hug and kiss...but I'd never have the chance to again. I remember getting the call from my mom about you being involved in an accident. I remember falling to the floor and feeling as if my heart had fell out of my chest. I remember riding home with my line sister's in silence knowing what I was walking in to. I remember seeing paramedics on TV performing mouth to mouth with no luck. I remember how I felt knowing you were gone...

Back to the battle. So I've been struggling with why this happened to you, KNOWING I'll never know the answer. I suppose that is the human side of me acting out. I've struggled with why God would take someone I loved so dearly, who seemed to have so much potential, and to be "on his way". I know God makes NO mistakes, but it's so much easier to say that than to feel it when you are in pain. And I was and still am in a lot of pain because you're gone. I've never cried this much in my life, and cannot fathom having to deal with this pain my entire life. It just seems so draining and unproductive. Lol. Yes I said unproductive, I work in HR. :) But seriously, it doesn't make anything better or your absence felt any less.

On the other hand, I thank God every day for allowing me to see you one last time before he called you home. I KNOW that was him showing me mercy, because he knew what I/we were about to go through. So I am thankful for that. Lord only knows what would have happened to me had you passed and I had been somewhere else. I'd hate to imagine. He also allowed me to be strong when your mom, my mom, and other members of the family were weak. I was able to be a support system to them while planning the funeral and figuring out what to do next. He blessed our family with my family in Delta who from the night I received the news, to the funeral, and even today, was right there with us. They helped us raise money for the services, they wiped away tears, they prayed, and they sat there with us so we wouldn't feel alone. He blessed us with church family that were prayer warriors and spiritual support systems when we just didn't have it in us. He blessed us with community out pour and support when they heard of the young man with the "infectious smile" who had tragically passed. He blessed us with seeing family, Grandpa, that we hadn't seen in years.

Again, God is good and I thank him immensely.

So you see, I'm conflicted. I know God is never wrong, I know he blessed me and the family, but for some reason I haven't been able to cling to him like I know I should. I know that true peace lies with him and comes from him. But it's been hard to know how to move forward. What makes it so much worse is when anyone else has lost a loved one or friend, the FIRST thing I've done is tell them to trust in God and cling to him. So I'm also a hypocrite. I'm trying to work through it, but it's taken some time. It's been a year, and I don't know if I'm any closer today than I was the day you passed away. But I also know that God knows my heart and is allowing me to go through this for a reason. I just hope that I can make him proud of me, rather than disappointed in me.

A friend told me earlier this week that you wouldn't want me to feel the way I feel, or to be suffering the way I've recently been suffering. And it made me stop and think. She was right. You were always smiling, you always found a way to spin things positively. When we talked, even about the hard times you went through, the conversation always ended on a brighter note. During your last years I saw a change in you that many men don't make until they are well into their late 20's. You were more responsible, you knew what you wanted and went after it, and you stopped letting others guide your decisions. I was so proud of you, and you were so happy. It was a beautiful thing to see and be apart of. You had become a man.

So why am I walking around sad, teary eyed, and afraid to connect with anyone new because you're gone? Why have I pushed certain people away that make me think of you? I know that's not what you want for me, or for anyone else for that matter. You'd want me to be happy that I'm still here, and have a life to live. Because my journey is not yet over. You'd want me to do the same things I did for you for Jazzy, and for Anthony...the son you never got to meet. You'd want me to continue living my life as if you were here, because you are in my heart and in memories. You'd want me to celebrate your life, and all the wonderful things you've done. And most of all you'd want to run as fast as I can BACK to God, because if I want to ever see you again it'd only be by his grace and mercy.

And deep down I know you're right.

So today, as I type through tear filled eyes, I am going to make a commitment to you. I'm going to work on accepting that you are no longer here with me physically, but that you have never left me and won't leave me in the spiritual sense. I'm going to live my life to the fullest, and continue to do the things that once made you so proud to call me your "Aunt TT". And made you tell your friends about me. I'm going to be a better daughter, sister, aunt, niece, and friend because you've showed me the importance of self improvement. And lastly, I'm going to stop running/hiding from God because I know that he makes no mistakes, and that his ways are not like mine...so I'm not supposed to understand. I'm supposed to accept life for what it is, and make the best of it.

You know I never cry. Mostly because I don't deal with feelings well, but also because it forces me to be vulnerable which is something I don't like doing. But today I'm giving myself permission to cry, to yell, and to scream if needed when I feel as if the hurt is unbearable. I've learned that holding it in will only give me high blood pressure, headaches, and potentially cause me to crash my car. Lol. But honestly, I'm learning it's ok to acknowledge my feelings and pain. But what is not ok is for me to allow them to cripple me, or to allow them to set me back. That is not of God, and that is not what you would want. So it makes no sense to "do it in honor of you". So from this day forward, I will not.

Some days it's hard to look at myself in the mirror, because I see your face. It's hard to look at pictures of you because they trigger memories of you. But again, today I pledge to stop running from reality and to embrace it. I look like you for a reason, so whenever I need a reminder it's there...in my face. :) The pictures capture memories of happiness, not pain. So I need to allow them to serve their purpose, celebrate the good times. Because there were many. It won't be easy, and I'm sure there will be a few hiccups along the way. But I've set the goal, and I'll be aiming for it daily.

It took me 3 days to complete this letter, because at times I had no words, at times I couldn't breathe between sobs, and at times I just didn't want to think about you being gone. But I've made it through. I am going to hold on to that as a small victory . It shows me I can push through my fears and pain, and that healing is possible. I know it's a journey, not a destination, and that some days will be harder than others. But you have to continue pushing on.

I miss you Mario. More than you know, and more than I can put into words. I miss you more today, than I did yesterday. But I know you are in a better place, and that there is purpose in what I am going through. I love you, and always will.

Love Always and Forever,

Auntie "TT" (your twin)